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Remembering A Sibling When New Baby Is Born
A new baby’s arrival is such a busy but exciting time. There are so many things to plan. The nursery needs to be set up. Baby gear needs to be bought. Your family or friends might throw a baby shower for you. The focus many times seems to be on the new baby and the mother.
Other children in the family might feel left out. It’s important that they feel a part of the celebration too. They also need to feel your love and support even more. When I was pregnant with my younger son, my older one would ask me how I was going to have enough love for both of them. He really meant what he said. He was unsure of how this new baby would fit in with our family and how his spot in our family would remain.
Would mommy and daddy still have enough time to do special things with him? It’s easy to understand why children feel this way. As busy as you might be its important that your older child still get plenty of attention too.
Try getting your older one involved in the pregnancy. By doing crafts together you can help them to feel special in their new important role as either big brother or big sister. You can make t-shirts together with the wording “big brother” or “big sister” There are other crafts they can get involved with such as paining, pottery and belly casting.
Some expectant moms enjoy having their pregnancy photographed at different stages. Remember to include siblings in these photographs too. Some hospitals include sibling classes as part of the prenatal classes. We took our older one to a sibling class and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He was there with other soon to be big brothers and sisters.
He was able to make the connection that this is a normal part of life. He got to learn how to change diapers, feed a baby and learn how to help keep the house safe for the new baby. At the end of the class he got a “Big Brother Certificate” that he was proud to display in his room.
At your baby shower, make sure that close relatives don’t forget to buy a small gift for the sibling. Young children have a hard time understanding why so many presents are needed for the new baby. You don’t want them to feel left out. It’s not necessary to spend a lot of money for the sibling’s gift. A great gift can something as simple as a coloring book.
After the baby is born, try and include the sibling in the day. If they are too young to help care for the baby, then ask them to get you diapers or wipes when you need one. If the baby is crying, you might ask them to sing a song to soothe the baby while you’re changing his diaper. This will help your older one to feel needed and special that you are asking them to help out.
Most importantly, save some time each day to spend with your older child alone. It’s easy for us moms to get caught up with our newborn. Have dad watch the baby while you and your older one play his favorite game or toy. You can have special days planned too where you might want to take them to a movie or museum. Or you can let your child choose how he would like to spend his time with you.
Keep in mind that having a new baby will be a transition for everyone. Make sure you’re patient with your older child and help them to feel loved. The more you include them and spend time together, the easier the transition will be for them.
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