Coping With A Loss
Coping with a pregnancy loss can be very difficult. Although the majority of miscarriages occur in the first few weeks of a pregnancy, women who experience this may still feel depressed. There are many different emotions she will feel while going through her loss. First she may feel immediate grief. In many situations, a woman may not show any signs of impending miscarriage such as bleeding or cramping. She may only find out she has lost her baby after having an ultrasound which shows the baby’s heartbeat has stopped.
Not only will she feel saddened but also in shock that something has gone wrong. All of the excitement and planning for the new baby is immediately over. Some women experience denial finding it hard to accept the devastating news. Anger and guilt are also emotions you may feel. Many women feel angry at God for letting this happen to them. Others may feel guilty, thinking they did something wrong, causing this to happen. This of course is far from the truth. Eventually you will get to a point of acceptance of what happened. Each woman is different so it may take some longer than others.
How far along you were in the pregnancy also affects how long it takes to emotionally heal. Having a stillborn baby is one of the hardest things any woman in life will ever experience. That is much harder to deal with than miscarrying at 10 weeks. When a woman has a stillborn baby, she will go through the grieving process much longer. Some women decide to have their family and close friends involved in the funeral and burial while others may want to be alone at this time.
If you’ve ever experienced a pregnancy loss, give yourself time to heal. Family and friends may rush to your side to try and offer their support. It’s okay to let them know that you need time to yourself. But, don’t cut them off for too long. Grandmothers and grandfathers may also need to verbalize how they feel about the loss.
Seeing a therapist or counselor may be necessary in order to fully heal. There are also support groups that you can join to for help with your grieving process. If you’d rather have more anonymity there are online support groups as well. It’s good to be able to speak to other people that have gone through the same thing. Keeping a journal is another great way to help you deal with your emotions.
Once you get through the grieving process, you will reach a point of acceptance. However, you will never ever forget the pain of your loss. There are many things you can do to help keep the memory of your baby alive forever. You can plant a tree in honor of your baby. Some women buy a piece of jewelry like a locket to have as a keepsake. If you had a stillborn baby, you can ask the nurse to make a hand or footprint for you. Allow yourself to feel every emotion. Losing a baby is one of the most difficult things to go through. Take one day at a time.
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