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Coping With Raising A Baby With No Family Around
Having babies and raising them is a difficult task to undertake. Doing it alone without the support of extended family is much more difficult. I’ve personally had to experience this a few times in my life. With my first pregnancy, my husband and I lived in New England while the rest of our family was still in NY. My husband was going to school so we knew we wouldn’t be there forever. When we discovered we were having our first baby, fear set in right away. I knew it would be difficult not only being pregnant with no family around but also raising my baby alone. I was so unsure of myself to begin with being a first time mother. I would have loved to have the support of my mother for those first few weeks home with my son. He didn’t sleep well and he cried more than I expected a baby to cry. We just didn’t know what to do. Plus both my husband and I were so physically exhausted from being sleep deprived. It was a relief when our families took turns visiting. It finally enabled us to catch up on some sleep.
Another thing that affected us was when we or our son was sick. When you get real sick, most times, all you want to do is rest. When you have a young baby or toddler, you don’t have that option. There were a few times we all got sick at the same time. I honestly don’t know how we managed without any family. I remember one time in particular that was rough for us. All three of us had high fevers. We were expecting a friend of ours over. She was visiting from Texas. We had no way to get in touch with her until she arrived. She barely stayed for an hour but we could hardly keep our heads up. If we had family local to us when our son was sick, they would have gladly come over to help us out. My mother or my mother in law would have volunteered to pick us up some groceries.
Birthdays and holidays are not the same without family around. We’re used to Christmas being a large crowd. Living away from family can kind of make the holidays a little depressing. I do think it’s equally hard for our families to deal with too. They miss their grandchildren blowing out the candles on their birthday cakes and opening presents. Part of me wishes our families would move with us but we are no longer in New England. We moved back to NY for a few years and had our second child while living close to family. We’ve recently moved down south due to my husband’s job. Originally my in-laws were going to move down south too but they have since changed their minds. I have to admit, there are days I’m driven to tears being away from family. I’m now pregnant with my third child. If I thought being pregnant with my first one was difficult, I’m sure this third pregnancy will be even more difficult. Of course, I have more experience with babies at this point. However, there’s nothing like having your mom around when you give birth. But, we have made some new friends. Instead of calling on family to help, we will have to rely on our friends to see us through.
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