Disciplining Your Toddler
The toddler years can be both a fun time and a trying time for parents. This is the stage that you will start to notice their newfound independence. Their personalities are really starting to blossom. Children at this stage need to be taught right from wrong, learn boundaries and most importantly be kept safe.
Toddlers are still learning how to communicate effectively and when they can’t, they can sometimes act belligerent. You might notice them biting or hitting other children or throwing their toys or food about the room. They start to test you by initiating poor behavior on purpose just to get a reaction out of you. It’s important for them to learn appropriate and acceptable behavior.
You can start diffusing a bad situation by redirecting and distracting your toddler. If you see them throw a toy, take the toy away and tell them that toys are for playing with, not throwing. If your toddler wants to touch something that he or she can’t have, distract them by handing them something else. Offer them their favorite toy or book. I have found that strong willed children are particularly difficult to redirect and distract.
My older son is strong willed and much tougher to discipline. Ignoring worked better for he and I at this stage. If he acted up or threw something, I would set him down on the floor and walk away. He could see I was upset with him. Most times he would follow me into another room and want me to pick him up. I would ignore him. He has the type of personality that craved positive praise and affection. When he could see I wasn’t pleased with his behavior and I wasn’t paying attention to him, he would stop misbehaving.
Time-outs work well for many toddlers. You can find a spot in your house to use as a time-out spot. It should be a place that’s not entertaining for your child. There should be no toys or TV there. This is a time where they sit and reflect on their poor behavior. The general rule of thumb is to give your toddler or child one minute of time-out for each year old they are. So, most toddlers receive two minutes of time-out.
They need to sit down and stay at their time-out spot until their two minutes are up. You can use an egg timer to time their two minutes. When they hear it ding, they will know it’s okay to get up and that time-out is over. In the beginning, your toddler may be resistant to time-outs and get up and run out of their designated spot. If this happens pick your child up and place them back at their spot. Keep doing this and eventually they will get it.
Once they get to be a little older, around 3 or 4 and they are better communicators, you can take things like toys or TV away when they don’t abide by the time-out rules.
Spanking or any other form of physical discipline is never acceptable. This doesn’t teach them anything. No poor behavior from a toddler or older child ever warrants this type of reaction. Plus, if you hit a child, you might begin to notice them doing it to other kids or people. The effects of this can snowball and eventually get out of control.
If you find yourself getting to the point where you feel like you’ll be responding physically, take a break and step away from the situation. Sometimes it’s us parents who need a time-out more than anything. Sit down and take a few deep breaths. If your spouse or partner is available, have them take over.
We all get frustrated when we are being tested by our children. It’s okay to admit defeat and take time out for a breather. You’ll come back to the situation with a much better attitude and approach. |
